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So I was bound to cry in public transportation in this life after all. Infront of so many strangers. Trying to hide it by sticking to the windows. Interestingly I wasn't expecting to have an aching throat for trying to muffle the sobs so hard.

Not being able to dream is more devastating than having your dreams crushed.

When you have a dream you aim to achieve. To achieve you will work, study, learn, produce and at the end you accumulate. Even after having your dream crushed you still have that accumulation, you can still do something with it; you can move forward. But when you can't dream; when you don't have any dreams, you do nothing at all. Only time passes and moves forward, not you.

Right now I am incapable of dreaming...
A big congradulations to Freece for having her wonderful series "Captive Prince" getting published!! And in 2 volumes with lovely covers, both in paperback and e-book format.. And ofcourse I hope to have them in my hands ASAP!!!
Here to show that I am actively using my LJ even if I don't do posts. But I really wanted to share a thought of mine this time. I really like yakuza/non-yakuza character yaoi mangas. thus my top favorites are #1 Viewfinder, #2 Totally Captivated, #3 Okane Ga Nai.

(I really love Usa-otoko Tora-otoko too, but somehow that one doesn't fit into the other three, maybe because I wasn't able to read much of the developement of their relationship, characters beyond the first few chapters)

Here is my little fantasy that floats around my mind: a crossover between these 3. I think it would be fun to read; how they would interact with eachother on 3 point of views. The cool and strong semes, the ukes who came into the semes' life like storms and broke all their rules, and the cool but poor side kicks of the semes' who have trouble with dealing the ukes of their bosses. lol
I wish a very happy new year to all the manga and yaoi lovers and scanlating teams out there. Although lots of bad things and disrespecting happened last year I thank you so much for the all work you have done and I hope nothing will discourage you to continue to do so.
Ok, so my sole purpose of creating this LJ a couple years ago was to use it as a journal for real, then though, at the same time, I started my PhD on Art History and that took a lot of my time (Still does). So I stopped using it even before I started to use it for real. Though I never stoped reading manga, cause that was a relaxation time for me from my studies. I started getting them since the golden years of Mirc till today. When everyone moved to LJ it was no problem for me cause I already had one and it was very convenient for me too. Though the events in the last year made scanlators job harder than it already was. People not only disrespecting and distributing their works unofficially but this action of theirs also would have easily caused legal problems for the scanlators. So naturally they took some precaution to prevent any problems. And I totally agree with this all stuff and never thought once that they were bitching, whining etc. "Spending time, money and doing all that work for FREE" I really believe they have every right to do it the way they want. After the latest events I'm very grateful that they still do the scanlations even if with strict rules instead of quiting for good. By strict rules, actually all they wanted from us was to do NOTHING, no share, no talk, no nothing, just download, read and be happy. It's funny how doing "nothing" is hard for some people. Now though seems like most of the groups are expecting some kind of validation of our activeness or interest in LJ so they are asking for posts. More often recently. Thus this post is being written with the purpose of fulfilling this expectation of some groups for now and in the future.

I don't think I will be able to do daily posts ever thanks to my PhD studies but will try weekly posts as much as I can, worst would be 2-3 posts monthly. I don't know what will they be about or if they will ever be read by someone but since I love my manga I'll continue with it as long as it could get. I hope nothing will make things worse for scanlators.

Please be patient with me while I get to know the ropes of this thing. English is not my native so I apologize for anything that sounds weird or rude.

And here goes the virginity of my LJ with it's first entry.